i almost died.

imagine tarantino, jackson, cameron, reitman, daniels, and bigelow all in one room talking about their films. yyyyep, its real. ccccheck it out!!!

see more here..

this is honestly so exciting! i love filmmaker talk! the size difference of tarantino and jackson is quite astonishing.

and considering that award season just started, be expecting non-stop news about these new films from here on till February!

'tis the season

do you smell that? no its not chocolate chip cookies and red velvet cupcakes baking. nor is it the pine drizzling off the christmas tree. but!

its the glorious smell of award season!!! its officially my favorite season!! this morning they announced the 2010 golden globes nominees and i couldnt be happier!!!

this is soooo awesome.

best picture:

avatar

the hurt locker

inglourious basterds

precious

up in the air

best director:

kathryn bigelow ' the hurt locker '

james cameron ' avatar '

clint eastwood ' invictus '

jason reitman ' up in the air '

quentin tarantino ' inglourious basterds '

i love this. i truly do. i think the real two big contenders are kathryn bigelow's the hurt locker and jason reitman's up in the air. but what im so giddy about is the two used-to-be-married couple going up against each other. im talking about james cameron and kathryn bigelow! they were married from 1989 to 1991. and to see them come this far and go for best picture and director is too much to handle. this is sooo exciting im salivating right now! ( i swear the hollywood foreign press did this on purpose)

see here!!!!

the golden globes will air on january 17.

im a film watching machine.

ok everyone knows that i write down all the films i have seen throughout the year. and this year, i surprisingly EXCCEEEDDED my expectations. no joke. last year i manage to watch around 130 new films. and this year i was able to kickass a whooping 180! and the years not even over yet. so this is my goal. im trying to reach 200 new films before 2010. and i think its very doable. there are seventeen more days til the new year and i only have to watch 20 more films. and yes, this sounds like a lot of films to watch but i honestly dont think ill be able to watch this many films in one year ever again so lets make the best of it! i guess i can call this an early new years resolution.

oh and be expecting the top ten greatest films of 2009 cause its coming. itll be awesome. i cant wait! and without spoiling anything, i can guarantee that

1. the hurt locker

2. thirst

are on the top of my list.

p.s. i honestly couldnt have done this without my film partner in crime. so thank you.

love letters to no one.

dear no one,

for the past three months, ive been banging my head against the wall hoping it will help me forget every moment, every touch, every smile, every kiss, every breath, and every heartbeat. i couldnt and didnt stop till one day he laid his hand on my shoulder and asked me to stop. he looked down at me with his big brown eyes and with a hammer in hand, did it for me.

the next morning i woke up feeling refreshed, anew, ecstatic! what was i going to do today? what was i to wear? who was i suppose to be? i couldnt decide. all i knew was that i was ignorantly blissful of my stupid and hollow life. after a few months of carrying on a minimalist life. a man unexpectedly came to my door and asked me out on a date. he told me to wear the most extravagant black dressed that i owned because it was going to be a very special date. i didnt know who this man was but i didnt care. i gleefully bought the first black dress i saw and like clockwork at 9 pm, he was at my door.

where were we going to go? what were we going to do? a million possibilities were running marathons in my head. where we arrived to wasnt like any typical dating setting ive been to. this was no restaurant. this was no movie theater. we arrived at a desolate park with hunchbacked trees caressing the grass with its loving arms. the fog was as thick as the muddy ground that tried to keep me. then out of the darkness, i saw a blob of people who like me were wearing black. where were we? why did he take me here? as we walked closer, i noticed a large box in front of everyone. as i peer over the box to see what was in it, i couldnt help but feel a sting of confusion.

it was a girl. she looked about my age. as i analyzed closer, i saw that we shared the same nose and mouth. she had freckles and dimples in the exact places that i had. who was she? why does she look like me? the wrinkles in my forehead ironed straight and my eyes widened. that girl couldnt and cant be me can she? i was here. i felt my rubbery flesh under my callous fingers. im here. im alive. thats not me. but if thats not me, who is she? i turn to see the other mourners. but as i turn someone blurs their faces with watercolors. a wave of fear washed over me. i turn around to look for my date but he's gone. the blotches of people start to circle and close in on me. theres no where to escape! theres too many of them! i scream stop stop stop! but it's useless.

i just look up and gaze at the dark and tainted sky as a swarm of crows fly by.

forever yours,

ignorantly blissful.

GARY THE GHOST HUNTER.

its done! production for gary the ghost hunter is done! im so excited for it to be edited and premiered!! brandon kendall is the director of this awesome short film and he was kind enough to let me on his crew! i was a script supervisor and it was tiring/fun/crazy/toomuchdonutsandpizzas/amazing!! yeah, all those things. here are some production photos i took.

love letters to no one.

dear no one,

life turns twists and turns its tiny little wings in funny ways dont it? it wasnt until i fully opened my eyes that i saw and realized how high she can really fly. she turns and mocks me every chance she gets but i cant blame her because it is ultimately i who can turn back and stick my tongue out or keep on walking ahead. even as she draws endless circles around me with the clouds, i cant help but feel some remorse. even as i shout " im sorry. i love you i love you i love you! " on my bloody knees, but she continues to peck my chest harder and harder as the days pass. i try to run faster and faster but shes always there waiting for me at the end of the road. she wont leave me alone. she has taken something that has been so precious to me. as soon as i even feel a pint of happiness of her absence, she soars higher and dives down deeper aiming her razor lips at me. my little legs cant run any faster. i run, i jump, i try to fly like her. but all i see is that little stupid rock ready to trip me.

then everything goes black.

when i wake up, i see an old man standing above me. he looks frightened and baffled. how long have i been away? the thoughts form but my lips refuses to make them real. the old man cocks his head to the side and tries to speak. after a few minutes of hesitation, he stutters "miissss.... what happened to your heart?"

forever yours,

heartless.

chapter one.

2009. this was the year, something incredible happened to me. i went through a portal and where it took me was somewhere i couldve never imagined. i experienced things ive never felt or done before. time didnt exist in this foreign land. it felt like i was meant to be here at this time and place almost like fate. i didnt know what my destiny was but reality was irrelevant. that moment we were living in seemed to be the only important thing worth caring about. but after six months of sheer bliss, due to my irrational humanistic flaws, i was thrown back and found awoke in my bed. there is no real proof that it ever happened. all i have left now are just memories that have plagued and diseased me. it is my temperamental memories that have permeated through my skin leaving their pestering stains which continuously tease and haunt me in my dreams and reality. there is no escape or distinction that can be clearly stated if anything is real anymore. but as i am incessantly reminded by my deformity, i cant help but contemplate through the silent, endless nights of what could've been....

my xmas list.

dear santa,

obviously, im not expecting you to get me everything on my christmas list so all im asking is for you to get me half! or even a quarter of it.

1. of course the vengeance trilogy. ive been wanting this for life. and so maybe now i could finally get it please?

2. ghost world comic book: possibly the greatest comic book ever! ha, what do i know i havent even read it yet. but the film was awesome.

3. mac red lipstick

4. those effing lolita heart sunglasses

5. sartre's exstentialism is a humanism!!! definitely a must read.

6. oh why hello there! i really want a pet and so if i could get anything it would be a baby turtle!!

7. and oh yes, a book shelf. its very needed in my miniscule loft.

yes santa, it seems like im asking a lot but im really not. and if youre not able to get me all these delicious gifts, then ill just ask for one thing. like mariah says in her most effing-fantastic mv,

all i want for christmas is....

YOU! to be insanely elated and appreciative of your every waking life! i love you all! sincerely and truly! i would like to think that my love never decays or dwindles. so when i say i love you once, it should reverberate and suffice for a whole life-time. and yes, that goes for you too. you know who you are, tehehe.

there's a possibility

DONT JUDGE ME.

ok, im not a "twilighter" but the twilight: new moon soundtrack is quite amazing. i dont know how alexandra patsavas, the music supervisor managed to get death cab for cutie, thom york!, lykke li, bon iver, and grizzly bear all in one soundtrack but its glorious!!! and despite that the soundtrack is related to twilight, be assured that it is nothing less than perfection. ok fine, im exaggerating a little but its good. im sure all the twilighters are going crazy but im sincerely just trying to say that the soundtrack propelled the film from being another teenybopper film to a time capsule of our modern day generation. there is one song is particular that makes me fall in love again and again with the soundtrack. aaaaand, it is lykke li's possibility.

There’s a possibility
There’s a possibility
All that I had was all I gon’ get
There’s a possibility
There’s a possibility
All I gon get is gone with your step

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know

Know that when you leave
Know that when you leave
By blood and by mean
You walk like a thieve
By blood and by mean
I fall when you leave

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know

Tell me when my sigh is over
You’re the reason why I’m close
Tell me if you hear me falling
There's a possibility
It wouldn’t show

By blood and by mean
I fall when you leave
By blood and by mean
I follow your lead

p.s. also check out:

bon iver & st. vincent - roslyn

grizzly bear - slow life

thom yorke - hearing damage

hurricane bells - monsters

death cab for cutie - meet me on the equinox

ATTENTION EVERYONE!

i entered another film short contest and i need your help. its not necessarily about winning but just about getting the word out on the work that was created. in order to vote, you have to sign up but that shouldnt stop you from voting and commenting on my work. you may vote only once in a 24 hour period but that means you can vote everyday as well! so please help me spread the news via blogs, facebook, twitter, myspace or anything because in the end, i do need to get enough votes for it to be seen by the panel. and please leave comment on the site on not my blog.

thank you very much!!

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT. AND HELP SPREAD THE NEWS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

p.s. all i have to say while watching my short is dont be afraid to think.